Breaking The Offense In Marriage: P.4 (3.5.17)

By March 6, 2017 No Comments

Psalm 119:165
Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.

You can have all your bills paid, and money in the bank, but if you have brokenness in your relationships, you will not have peace.

True love is the only power that can overcome offense.

The enemy’s ultimate objective is to get us offended at God.

In the garden of Eden, Satan twisted what God said to Eve and made her believe He was holding out on her. Satan wants to get us to a place where we believe that we can’t count on what God said.

Mark 4 teaches that when we have heard the Word, Satan comes immediately to try and steal the Word that was sown in our hearts. Jesus said that when persecution arises, for the Word’s sake, many would walk away offended. Matthew 24 talks about how offense is Satan’s ‘last day’ strategy to deceive, divide, and to destroy.

Since offense is rooted in unfulfilled expectations, we have to address the model that Jesus gave for marriage. It covers what the model that the partnership of marriage is built on. The standard that we are supposed to base our marriage on is the model of Jesus and His church. God created marriage and it is sacred. It is meant to be a representation of Jesus and His bride (the church).

 Ephesians 5:22-29
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

Basically God is saying, “If you want to know how to treat your spouse, look at Christ’s love for the church.” Marriage must be built on agape love, which is sacrificial and selfless.

Wives need security and to know that they are priority. There can be no trust where there is no transparency. Everything must communicate to a wife that she is #1. There shouldn’t be passwords she doesn’t have, or anything hidden. She needs to know that she, and the children, will be cared for. She needs reassurance that her husband will take care of her and that the family will be provided for.

Husbands need honor. A wife should build up her husband with her words, and never tear him down, especially in front of another man. Wives should let the honor that they show their husbands be based off his potential and not his performance.

When the husband is giving priority to his wife, and bringing security into her mind, the natural response will be honor. If a man is doing what God called him to do, he will see a difference in the wife, because honor comes as a natural by-product of a wife getting her needs for security and preference met.

Insecure people have a hard time loving others. If you bring insecurity into a marriage, you  take away your spouses ability to love. The way your spouse sees you is your fault.

Your spouse is your life’s witness. They see every side of you. How would you feel if you were standing before the Lord on judgment day and He said, “Let me call forth your spouse”? How would they testify on your behalf?

Malachi 2:14-16
Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

God hates divorce or “putting away”. He is saying that if we have a problem with the way we treat our spouse, we need to check our own spirit. We should stop complaining about what our spouse is or isn’t doing, and learn to take that to God. Instead we should worry about what we should be doing, and how we can improve.

If you will go to your spouse and confess your own weakness, you’ll find that they will probably be the first to come to your defense. But if you attack your spouse, you are forcing them to come to to their own defense.